The day didn’t start well, as Steve neglected to tell everyone that Cold Ash had an Astroturf pitch only. This unfortunately meant that a lot of the team had to spend the opening twenty minutes of the game removing the studs from their boots. This was an inauspicious start which was not improved by a sterling opening partnership of two balls, no runs and one wicket as O.T.Bix fell in the first over. Mongo soon followed, and Ian and Ben then added a fairly brisk 60, including some exciting pulls by Ben, before Ian was plumb LBW. Olly seemed pretty reluctant to give it, but it was difficult not to since Ian had already walked 5 yards off the pitch towards the pavilion. Ben ran himself out soon after, unwisely taking a single that could only be described as “a bit too cheeky”.

So it fell to the middle order to lift us above 100 and take us to a respectable score. This they summarily failed to do after some questionable shot selection, including an incredible over where Barry and Colin were BOTH dropped at backward point before Colin gave the same fielder another chance to redeem himself. Third time lucky indeed. PicNic edged one to slip before Barry and Steve did a bit of rebuilding, only for Steve to commit the cardinal sin of being out one ball after drinks, slapping a full toss to a fielder. Barry batted on a bit with Chris Yates before sky-ing a slog off the Cold Ash spinner, then Richard was bowled to leave us on about 140.

We then had an amazing tea, the highlight of which was undoubtedly the Victoria sponge cake. This had a layer of sweet, delectable strawberry jam, and a velvety, creamy butter icing which melted in your mouth. That’s not to mention the moist sponge cake and light dusting of icing sugar which left everyone in culinary orgasm.

Unfortunately we then had to go and play another innings of cricket. Olly Taylor fortunately had the opener caught behind in the first over, but it was downhill from then on as a combination of lackadaisical fielding, ropey bowling and fine leg side smashing from the Cold Ash opener meant that they found their way to the target with consummate ease. Steve Bramley dropped a sitter at quite an important moment, but really it was an all-round trashy performance, only redeemed by an LBW for Mongo and an amazing renegade stop from Ren.

On the plus side, Duncan and Mongo’s claims that showers are better than cricket were for a change proved correct as Olly Taylor brought out a girlfriend-inspired candy floss flavour shower gel with bits of glitter in. The Wantage changing room never smelled so good, and a good time was had by all as we washed away our cricketing sins in a shower of sweetness.

Result: Lost by 8 wickets.

Man of the Match: Barry Martin for 33 runs and a good spell with 0 wickets. Steve vetoed the cake as man of the match, unfortunately.
Champagne Moment: Ollie Taylor for bringing the candy floss shower gel. Honourable mention to Ren’s stop.
Pig’s Ear: So many nominations. Barry’s misdemeanours at deep square leg took the biscuit though. Good example coach!